"I'm Just a Girl"
- Aseela Galeeb
- Sep 30, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 16
Ever since the 2023 Barbie movie swept through cinemas across the country, I have noticed a significant change in the way femininity is discussed on social media. In this blog post, I intend to explore these depictions, as I pose the following questions: Do we have to define femininity in order to embrace it? And if we define it, does that actually limit what femininity is, and can be?
“Feminine” Trends
There are many social media trends that seem to embrace “femininity” (I use quotations to represent the traditional idea of femininity), but are actually counterproductive. Take, for example, the ‘coquette’ aesthetic, which you may have seen in the form of lacy skirts, pastel makeup, and especially ribbons and bows. This specific trend is credited to Sandy Liang and Simone Rocha, who incorporated bows heavily into their fashion designs. I’ll admit that a pink bow adds a cute “feminine” touch- I have a little ribbon tied to my water bottle- and I will state here (not for the last time) that if ruffles and ribbons help people express their femininity, then they should continue to bedazzle their wardrobes as they see fit. However, trends like this tend to condense femininity into the conventional view- pink, cutesy, and fashion-oriented; a view that while valid, can be dangerous.
While in the midst of an internet rabbit hole about bows, I came across a Harpers Bazaar article which discussed another social media trend: “I’m just a girl”. The article explains, “it’s been used to caption these ribbon videos, and to justify unnecessary purchases and…leaving a car running for an entire school day or grabbing only makeup when the house is on fire. I’m just a girl, I didn’t know better, someone please save me.” The article points to the irony of the trend, which is based on the song “Just a Girl” by No Doubt. The lyrics of the song read:
Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I’m exposed and it’s no big surprise
Don’t you think I know exactly where I stand?
This world is forcing me to hold your hand
‘Cause I’m just a girl, a little ‘ol me
Well don’t let me out of your sight
Oh I’m just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don’t let me have any rights
…
I’m just a girl in the world
That’s all that you’ll let me be
I’m just a girl, living in captivity
Though I can appreciate a humorous viral audio and the accompanying entertaining videos, the core of the trend can’t be ignored: it makes “girl” synonymous with a naïve damsel-in-distress. “I’m just a girl” should be used the way Gwen Stefani meant it, as “a sarcastic rebuke to the helpless-female cliché” as per the song’s Wikipedia page. Whether it is satirical or used in defense of “boys will be boys”, it is yet another example of a seemingly empowering TikTok trend that is actually demeaning and belittling.
The ”girl math” trend also falls into this category. Admittedly, I have referenced this a few times, especially when shopping: if I don’t buy this sweater that’s 50% off, I’m actually losing money, right? Of course, much like “I’m just a girl”, this is meant to be a lighthearted joke. However, as one CBS News article says, the trend “promotes the stereotype that women are not good at math, and therefore not good with money.” It has many of the same themes as the previous trend- that girls aren’t smart, and that they make excuses for bad decisions. I don’t want to sound like a killjoy, so I’ll wrap this up by saying that as long as we recognize the potentially harmful stereotypes from which these trends originate, we can feel free to spend extravagantly on pretty dresses and pink heels- after all, we’re just girls.
Gendered language
I remember seeing an Instagram Reel which pointed out the differences in language when the words “feminine” and “masculine” are Googled. Obviously, I assumed that the results shown in the video were exaggerated, so I took to Google. Unfortunately, I’m sure you can imagine the kinds of words that popped up in the search results. Feminine, according to the internet, means ladylike, soft, delicate, gentle, tender, graceful, refined, and modest- words that sound like a cross between a laundry detergent commercial and the reviews for a ballet performance. When I looked up “masculinity”, I saw words like vigor, strength, toughness, and muscular.
Unsure how to feel about this language divide, I asked female friends what femininity meant to them. The answers I received spanned from “genetically female features”, “things that make me feel connected to womanhood”, “community and emotional intelligence”, “reserved composure and sophistication”, “sensitivity and empathy”, and even one answer which questioned whether femininity is a real concept.
Conclusion
Femininity doesn’t have a static definition that is set in stone. It is a fluid, personal concept which may not even need to be defined. If you feel connected to the word, your displays of femininity should be respected, so long as you respect everyone else’s definitions of femininity as well.
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